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Monday, May 4, 2009

Tomorrow is the day...

Tomorrow is the day I’ve been dreading for the past 5 years of my life. Tomorrow we go take a short little walk, down to the public elementary school and register my oldest, Lyric for Kindergarten. I’m not even sure that I want to go, but I know that I can’t miss out on it as we’ll get to meet the principal and teachers as well as take a tour of the classroom.

How is it that 5 years flies by so fast, I remember like it was just yesterday that I brought her home from the hospital. From that amazing day I’ve said I wanted to home school her. Unfortunately my hubby doesn’t agree with that. I’ve done my research planned it out and even told him we can try for Kindergarten since it’s not a big deal, if it doesn’t work out, fine she can go to school for 1st grade. He’s not hearing it though; he wants her to go to public school.

I’m dreading it for a number of reasons. Number one, I don’t want her going to the public school system in our area it’s below par with their grades and reputation but we can’t afford private, and the charter school, don’t even get me started on them! Number two, I don’t feel like as a parent, I should be sending my child off to strangers to be out of my reach, my sight and my hearing all day! Schools aren’t safe these days, I don’t feel safe sending my child anywhere without me, I have a hard time leaving her alone with my own parents! I feel that I have the responsibility for my child, for her safety, for her education, I shouldn’t be relying on people I don’t even know to do this.

I know, people do it every day, I went to school I was fine. I’m sure she’ll be fine too but these are the things that walk through my head. I want my kids to be safe, I want them to experience life, I want them to be educated. I don’t want them to spend their days with strangers, sitting in a building in a desk all day learning how to just ‘pass a test’ with no world knowledge. Yes, I plan to teach her at home, yes I plan to ‘home school’ even after school hours maybe not in the traditional sense but I also don’t want her to be spending hours on end AFTER school doing homework, which is the horror stories I heard will happen, yes even in Kindergarten.

Tomorrow is the day, the day my world takes a small tumble past what I believe and what I’ve been trying to stand up for, for the past 5 years. Tomorrow for once in my life, I don’t get my way, and I don’t know how to handle it. I know I’ll be a sobbing mess come the first day of school, heck I may even cry tomorrow.

How did you prepare for your child to go off to Kindergarten? How did you handle them leaving the ‘nest’? Will I be ok? lol


Seeryus Mama said...

Sob away...sob away!! When my oldest was registered I went by myself and did it. Had a cry in the hallway, but then pulled myself together! Hugs for ya!

Petula said...

I think I am one of those abnormal moms. I feel a little nostalgia, but I don't cry. When I registered my oldest (who's 17 now) I was excited... I got a little teary eyed on the first day. I was supposed to register my 5 year old for kindergarten today, but the day didn't go as planned so I need to get that done before the end of the week.

I'm sure you'll be okay... just cry if you need to, but don't let "the baby" see you. :)

photoquest said...

Okay...I feel ya man was this a heart ripper : ( I mentally prepared myself by saying this is where she'll make her friends, learn about people and interacting and learning and i'm gonna have to let them grow. Welll i was the mom crying when i left my child that first day, while i saw others beaming with glee! : ) like they just got out of jail and been given a free shopping card.
I will not share school stories given your situation but it is hard and it's a trying time for both. My oldest is in 10th grade and has carried A/B grades threwout school my youngest is a AIG student for advanced kids and she's in the 6th grade she's been on the Princepal's list since kindergarden and has takin pride in her hard work, she wouldn't have gotten accknowledments like that if she were home schooled I cannot even help my oldest with her math, she's taking all advanced coarses. The safety.. well now it's nothing for kids to carry cell phones to school and i even instructed the principal mine is to carry hers if she needs me. Never forget you have rights to your child no matter what their policies are when it comes to your childs safety do what you feel is right just tell her to keep the ringer off : ) Good luck to you it will be a big change for you both i think it will be easier on your child than you but aventually you'll appreciate the extra time you have for things you need to do.

noreen said...

I suggest helping at school, get to know the staff and then you will know more about how your daughter's day is at school. If you don't like things at the school try and change them. Mostly help in your daughter's class. It really does help. It was hard when my oldest started kindergarten last fall. I never leave my girls with anyone. Her teacher is great though and my daughter loves her teacher and her school