No there was no fighting, no arguing. She wasn't being bad. She was being a truthful little 5 year old girl, who hit me just in that right spot with her words and made me cry, not only because of what she said to me, but also because of the image I've been giving her in her short few years of life as a girl.
Yesterday during dinner, we got to try these new Orida potatoes. They were cheesy ones that you simply put in the microwave to cook them. Anyways, Lyric is not a big eater, she's picky and we struggle to get her to eat most days at the dinner table. She ATE UP those potatoes like they were going out of style, she just loved them. I said to Rodney, we'll have to buy more she loves them and we'll be able to 'fatten her up a bit'.
I heard a great big "NO!" come out of that kids mouth.... No? No what?....."I don't want to get fat, I like to be skinny!" she said. We told her she's too skinny we don't want her to get fat, we just want her to be healthy and there's such a thing as being too skinny and we just want her to pick up a little bit of weight... "NO!" She said, "I like being skinny and I look be
tter skinny"... WHAT?!?! This is coming out of the mouth of my 5 year old?????Then she proceeds to say "Mommy, you need to loose weight.." (not something I already don't know)... Daddy kinda lost it...."Why does Mommy need to loose weight Lyric?" he said...."Because, she does, she needs to loose some weight"...This goes around in circles for a bit, I'm just sitting at the dinner table silent, why would these words be coming out of a 5 year olds mouth! I strive not to talk too much about body imagine (mine in general) around her, and we try to teach her that no matter what anyone looks like that everyone is different and you shouldn't judge or make fun of people because they're different than you.
Well, Rodney finally gets some more out of her, he basically wanted a reason why she thinks Mommy needs to loose weight. Her answer was: "Because, Mommy will look better if she's skinny...."
I lost it, that just hit me so hard, I broke down in tears and left the table. Rodney was so upset with her at this point, and told her, it's not nice to say things like that about people, you just hurt Mommy's feelings, do you think she's ugly? To which Lyric replied no she's very pretty but she'd look better if she was skinny.......Oh...My...God... What is going on?????????
Rodney told her, do you ever see Daddy saying that to Mommy? She said "No". Rodney then said to her, I love Mommy, she's beautiful no matter what size she is (aww) and that was very mean to say to her....He then made her apologize to me, which I accepted but it took a while for my tears to stop.
This was such an eye opener...How does a 5 year old get this stuff into her head? It must be from me, I must not be doing something, I guess my self image is rubbing off on her and I need to stop this. Yes I am on this journey of weight loss and getting healthier now, the girls are in on it too, we told them no more junk food, just healthy snacks, and every morning they've been attempting to exercise with me while I do my workouts, which is great....I'm proud of them for doing that with me and it's a lot of fun for the three of us...
But.....I will never get her little voice out of my head now.....As sad as it is, it's a little bit more of a motivator for me to get this done, get healthy, and prove to her that it's not the outside that counts....
11 comments:
((hugs)) ce and I have had moments like that... but I KNoW it's totally my fault (and my families fault) .. we're all very focused on being thin-- and it's just not healthy to have that sort of attitude. I try to lessen it with ce.. but it's hard to undo 27yrs of constant in your face don't get fat crap from your family. kwim..
anyways...... Turn it positive, and use it as a motivator :] uhm...... I'm not good at the motivation part LOL.. so.. that's all.
La
I think you found your source of inspiration. No matter how hard it hurts no one would tell you because they love you but she knew no better but in the long run being thinner has ben proven to be healthier and I hope that she motivates you to become a healthier (most important) you!! What you have taught them is very important! but look at the society we live in.
Not much to say other than I heart you! You ARE beautiful inside and OUT.
I dont know what to say..but that brought tears to my eyes! I'm glad that daddy sat there and tried to explain things to her! BIG HUGS momma!
I am by no means skinny, but I am not fat either. Over the summer my then 6 year old daughter came home and told me that one of her friends at camp had told her that her mom (me) was fat. I was floored. Trying not to let my daughter see me from the back seat, I cried all the way home.
I am not sure if I was upset at the insult itself, the blow to my already fragile self esteem, the humiliation I feared my daughter would feel for having a "fat" mom, or that it would open up a whole can of worms with her about body image.
All I can telkl you is that I tried to use it as a "teaching moment" to explain to my daughter about weight and being healthy, everyone being different, etc. I think she understood. But, to this day her telling me that was like a kick right in the (flabby) gut. ;)
I feel your pain.
Best,
Michelle
You know, when my son was 5 he said the same thing to me. Broke my heart. Bless little kiddies hearts....Because I don't like looking like this....but I don't know how to not.
Big hugs....
Hi there Gina,
I can honestly say that I have gone through this. I have a 9 yo DD with ADHD who is like me in that she is very blunt. So she told me this before and it hurt & made me mad so I feel ur pain. But don't blame yourself! Its all good - they get it from everywhere - TV, friends, etc.
Happy New Year!
Angie
Pricousins on twitter
Oh, boy. That must have felt horrible. I am so impressed with the way your husband stepped in, though. Hopefully that counter-balanced it a bit.
I started using the Sensa sprinkles on my food recently and my 4 year old has taken to telling me "mommy you're not fat enough already!" which is just about as odd. I don't think they realize how hurtful words can be yet.
(((hugs)))
I can feel you on this one. My dear sweet daughter has hinted at this very same thing. About a month ago she asked me if I had another baby in my belly....
Awe no way you've done nothing. Daddy sure was sweet though, you know Gina use it as inspiration.
You're a good mommy don't ever think anything different!
I am not sure if I was upset at the insult itself, the blow to my already fragile self esteem, the humiliation I feared my daughter would feel for having a "fat" mom, or that it would open up a whole can of worms with her about body image.
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