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Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The long road ahead...

I'm not sure where it leads, or when it's going to even start leading to something....I know so many people are or have been in the same situation, but it doesn't help the helplessness feelings that are going on. It doesn't help the depression that sets in when you don't know if your going to be able to make your house payments. Thankfully I did get some time off from these feelings, which will explain my absence from the blog.

Labor Day weekend we decided very last minute we needed a break from reality so we headed up to Canada to spend time at my parents house. It was only supposed to be for the weekend, but we ended up spending over a week up there. With no real rush to come back home, no job offers for Rodney, no upcoming interviews and being able to apply online for jobs, we decided what is there to go back to?

The time being around family and friends helped tremendously, it was able to allow us to escape and enjoy things for a while. The girls had a blast, we had fun, I got to take them to my most favorite place as a child, the Ontario Science Center. Lyric had so much fun she has asked to go back for her birthday (we shall have to see). But once reality set in that we did have to make that drive back home the depression and grumpiness hit again. Once we got home you could feel the tension and frustration in the air between the two of us. I just have not felt up to blogging or even logging online much.

We've accomplished things around the house, which is good. We're trying to keep our spirits lifted and I know family and friends will be there for us to keep us up but the time is just dragging and the money just keeps going down and down and down.

I don't know how people can survive this, I know we will, but the times are trying and it's so frustrating for myself, I can only imagine how Rodney feels as he feels his role as a provider for his family has now been compromised and he now feels 'less of a man', to which I tell him no, if he was doing nothing about the situation it would be different but he's trying his hardest to find something and that's more than some 'men' do in these situations.

Something has to come around soon, it just has to, I hate that the holiday season is around the corner and I worry about the girls, I worry about Lyric's birthday coming up at the end of the month and worrying that I can't get her all I want, and how to explain why we have no money is getting to be a typical conversation around our home with her. I hate telling them no, they can't have this or that or can't go to this or that place, I hate that I can't get any of us clothes for the fall season right now, we all need some. I just hate being in this position.....

1 comment:

kristleharrison said...

I'm sorry that nothing has come up for you guys Gina.. I've been thinking about you and wondering how ya'll are doing.. I hope that R can find something good soon! *hugs*